Goofy Internet... Or Goofy Me

That last post was missing some stuff that I'd originally written. It didn't dawn on me that putting things in brackets would make the website think I had included some HTML. So, if the post didn't really make sense to you, please read it again. LOL Sometimes the simplest bit of information makes everything crystal clear. ;)

Marriage

I can hardly believe it's been so long since I last blogged, but the dates don't lie. So many times I've thought, "Oh, I have to blog about that... it was too funny not to share!" However, I then got busy doing something else and didn't get it done. Being so ill for the first 6 months of the year (and a couple of months before that) didn't help matters either. I have a cute one for you, though, and will try to keep up better again.

Andrew: *After a HUGE kiss* I just MARRIED you, Mommy!
Me: Oh yeah?
Andrew: I'm jus' kiddin'!! *Insert the cutest giggle you've ever heard* I married Snow White on the Disney Cruise already!!!

Yep, my boy thinks that you marry somebody by kissing them, and that his wife lives on a cruise ship with Mickey and the gang!! Hmmmm... I wonder if we can get a family rate.

Mom! Something's wrong with Drew's back!!

That's what I heard a few minutes ago. I glanced up and saw that Drew did, indeed, have something weird all over his back. Upon closer examination, it looked like a flat rash, almost like broken blood vessels. Then I had this thought, "That reminds me of the hot chocolate I just cleaned off the foyer floor." Sure enough, it washed right off! How in the world does a little boy get spots of hot chocolate all over his back? And how do I stop the adreneline rush that is now speeding through my body at the thought of my son having some weird rash??? Ahhhhh... time to finish my grocery shopping, I guess. ;)

The secret...

Okay, so I've been the only one who could get Drew to go to bed at night lately. Before now he just kind of ran until he passed out, much to our horror. A few weeks ago, though, I decided I'd had enough and attempted the Super Nanny's bedtime routine. That didn't work well, but adjusting it just a bit did. However, I've been the only one for whom it worked. LOL My family looks at me in awe and I think Stu has actually had to restrain himself from getting on his knees and bowing in worship of me. ROFL

Well, tonight I gave up the secret. You just have to make a deal with him! We say our prayers, I tuck him in, then I tell him I want him to stay in bed. He gives me a thumbs up and says, "DEAL!" Then I tell him I don't want him to talk, and he does the "DEAL!" thing again. Next I tell him I want him to go to sleep, which is met with... you guess it, his "DEAL!"

Yep, you just have to make a deal with him! Unfortunately my family no longer thinks I'm the "Baby Whisperer" ;)

Baby Hanes

The ever curious - and argumentative - Drew brought me a sock and asked me what it says on the bottom.

"It says, Baby Hanes." I replied.

"No it doesn't!" was his emphatic response, to which I suggested he ask his daddy to read it.

Upon getting the same answer from his daddy, Drew became very indignant and yelled, "It is NOT Baby Hane's sock, it is BIG ANDOOS!!!" (That's Andrew, for any of you who don't happen to speak 3 yr old boy)

It has happened already!!!

Me - "I love you so very much, Andrew!"
Drew - "I love Snow White!"

Sigh...

Bedtime...

"Yes, Drew, you can sleep in Mommy and Daddy's bed tonight. Here are the rules: no toys, no playing, go to sleep... oh, and you use your own pillow so Mommy doesn't get kicked off the bed."
"Daddy only has one rule, Drew, do NOT put your feet in my pants!"

Apparently nothing is sacred for a three year old with cold feet.

Are you fresh and clean???

Probably not according to Andrew.

"Mommy, Daddy's feet are s'gusting!"
"Yeah, Baby, feet tend to smell gross."
"But not MY feet, 'cause I'm FRESH AND CLEAN!"
"Okay..."
He then smells my feet. GAG
"Mommy, your feet are s'gusting!"
"Sorry, Drew."
"Emily is s'gusting, Brookie is s'gusting, Joshie is s'gusting, but *I* am FRESH AND CLEAN!"

We have the strangest conversations at bedtime.

Hiccup...

"I need some milk, Mom."
"Drew, it's time to go sleepy, lay down and close your eyes now."
"But milk helps with hiccups!"
"Well, it's a good thing you don't have hiccups, then."
"HIIIIICK.... ow... HIIIIICK... ow... my hiccups hurt, mom, I need milk!"

How can I argue when I'm laughing so hard??

The boy wants to color his hair!!!

The girls wanted to color their hair. No big deal, except they wanted highlights in it. I can color their hair, no problem!! We did the main color and it looked GREAT! I tried to convince them both that the highlights were a bad idea, but no, they wouldn't listen. They have this misplaced trust in me. They don't trust me to get anything else right, but they trusted me to put highlights in their hair!!

If you see my girls and think, "WOW, that hair is just... yeah...", just know that I was not happy about doing it. LOL At least they are happy.

Anyway, as I was brushing the bleaching stuff on Brooke's hair, Drew was sitting there watching us. Suddenly, with an awe-struck tone in his voice, he says, "I sure wish MY hair was red and pink!"

Please enlighten me

Somebody PLEASE tell me how to get a three-year-old to leave his broken finger buddy-taped to the one next to it??

"Gooooshies, Mom! It HURTS!" is all I get when I tell him he needs to keep it taped so it can heal.

Then, after you let me know how to keep that blasted tape on his fingers, be sure and tell me how to keep from laughing when he says such cute things and then rolls those little eyes! It's awfully hard to get him to take me seriously when I'm laughing at how adorable he is!

Brain Language

After we finished at the ER last night... well, it was actually the Acute Care Clinic, but I digress... and had learned that Andrew managed to break his index finger and sprain his thumb when he fell at the park, our little angel started making these really weird noises in the back of the van. He would say a few words and then make a sound similar to the way Donald Duck speaks. I finally asked him what he was doing. He answered, "I'm TRYING to talk to my brain mom! GOOOOOOSH!!! It won't let me do the smoochy poochy dance anymore, so I'm trying to talk to it so it will!"

I never knew there was a completely different language to allow you to speak to your brain!

My inspiration for the title...

Is my precious Andrew. This boy comes up with the funniest things and you just have to wonder what it's like to live in his world. Yesterday, in the midst of getting ready to make our 5 billionth ER visit for this boy who has no fear, he decided it was the perfect time to discuss babies and their mothers. The boys had one of their sisters read the Usbourne book, about where babies come from, to them a few days ago. The story has apparently been circulating in this little brain and he has put his own 3-year-old spin on it! He was sharing this new version and I'll spare you most of the details, but I thought his ideas of nursing were just so cute. He actually thinks that the baby gets milk from one breast and food from the other! Ladies, do I hear a big ole collective OUCH??? ROFL